Life

When faced with a difficult decision, how do you come to a consensus? How do we know its right? How do we know that our future dreams will lead us to a more happier prosperous life?? Well I don't, I'm just a dreamer. As do many girls, I practically laid down an outline of my life (yes ladies don't deny it, we've all done it). A lot of girls probably won't confess it, but I will.

By 21 I should have my BA in Journalism & minor in Political Science. Around that time I plan to work at a small news station, perhaps here in San Diego. Around 22 create a special documentary where I travel to the depths of the world from the African Sahara to the deep jungles of South America in search of some sort of truth, & wide open view of what our world hasn't experienced. Perhaps along my journey, meet the man of my life, who thirsts an objective view of the world, yet calls the city his home. By 23'ish' my crew & I finish this documentary, & unknowingly my boss at the news station watches this film, & think its brilliant for broadcasting it onto the news station "thinking it to be a fantastic human interest story for the viewers" then gets nominated for an News & Documentary Emmy (thank you, thank you lol) we win, yaaay! Offers begin to roll in, but the guy I'm with tells me "its not the money that should be your decision, but the network that suits you." I then decide to sign on with CNN, but not going solo, maybe co-anchor with the silver fox himself AC360 (as amazingly hot he is, I begin to fall in love with this certain guy I met on my travel) I'm 24, living in L.A. & the new face of CNN, which means also dealing with the insane paparazzi, which also means having a very secret life. It's been about two years into my relationship with this "guy" & asks me to move in with him... but before that I've found out that CNN wants me to relocate to NYC, I tell this guy I'd love to but my work will be in NYC, & your here in LA... I sadly move, knowing I finally have the life I want, a gorgeous penthouse suite in the Upper East Side, the perfect job, but an empty penthouse with no guy there.... until I arrive to my new place, & him standing in my empty penthouse with rose petals & candles laying on the floor & says will you marry me? Of course we get married in NYC, & we have our adorable kids, around 25-27..... Okay that was rather a more detailed version, but you get the idea, ha.

As much as I see myself having a happy marriage & kids, I'm still young, I have my dreams, my ambitions, my independence. It's just freaky how time flies, knowing it's so close.

Uber Smitten?

Doesn't matter who, but have you ever totally sidetracked by a certain one?
Perhaps you don't even know why? You feel like you would like them, but if you were too, it kinda would ruin your crush on that someone???

Well I'm no "love doctor" & I admit it, I probably have the least action in my love life I've ever had, but I'm content with who I am, but at this time in my life, I feel that I've dated, but I feel like I've been missing some piece of my "dating experience" & the right guy just doesn't seem to come along, but I'm not looking for any marriage proposals here so don't get the wrong idea, haha. Can many dates make a right one? Or do all the wrong dates we choose create a cycle?

Well I couldn't help myself, but to realize this certain "wrong person", (if you've been following up in my blogs, you'll get my drift) I've kinda still liked for about ohhh I would say maybe 7 months, which is insanely crazy! Have any of you ever liked someone for that long & been aware of it?? I didn't even notice how fast the time passed by. The thing is, IT can never happen, unless I want to speed up my 6 year plan by 1 year, which will not happen. Thing is, I see him often, randomly is to put it, & every time I have an awkward kind of moment. What can I do???? It's not like when I see him I can go jump into a bush & hide, cause that would be weird. I like to think odd moments like these have a sole teaching purpose, yet apparently this is a never ending lecture. Until I can find someone other than this person, I don't think it will go away.