2010: Lies, Loyalty & Love

2010, you've been an emotional roller coaster this year I must say. Thinking back to the person I was at the beginning of this year made me realize how humanity can hurt & love you in so many ways. Usually I don't say this, but this will be the exception. If you know me well enough, I'm not very "lovey dovey" & I must admit it, I pretty much have a tough exterior, but the pain, lies & disloyalty that was brought to me this year definitely came as a shocker to me. The tough Kristin Lynn you know & love isn't as tough as you may think.

Now that I look back at this year, it's been a "hate/love" relationship with 2010 & I. While the majority of my time was spent writing papers & studying for exams, the other part of my time I spent crying. I never saw crying as a bad thing, or a sign of weakness, but I think I cried so much this year because the issues I was facing were very close to me. With my numerous trips to the hospital, waiting in the visitors area, eating cafeteria food for days, it made me even more grateful for the family I have, dysfunctional or not. So, if you feel like you need to cry, let it out!

No one wants to feel like they've disappointed anyone, but this year, I felt like I've disappointed myself. For an independent kind of gal, I felt so alone & to some point I felt like I lost myself in a way. For me, relationships were just a big fat "NO NO," & not because the feeling wasn't mutual but I think I just wasn't ready. From past experiences, it's hard to move on from a past relationship, when the person(s) is still in your life (old baggage comes back, the feelings come back) & when issues go unresolved, I found myself in sticky situations I never wanted to be in. Have I ever thought about rekindling an old flame? Sure, I would be lying to myself if I didn't say so, but with the year at a close, & with events that have occurred, it's only proven my position even more right. This isn't an exact quote, but more of a put together kinda thing. "Never cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you. Guys come & go, but it's the people who we are friends with that actually matter, & who are always there when we crash & burn." My advice on friendships: "It's about trust & loyalty. If either is broken, what do you have? But the real choice comes from the individual, do you want that kind of person around you? Is it worth saving? If so, sometimes it's better to put your pride away & to just forgive, but never forget."

As for love, well it's not the love you're thinking about. My bestie Grace & I have had many discussions about the boys in our life & decided we need men (which probably won't happen until we graduate from college) but, I do love both of my besties (Gracie & B), these two chickas never let me down. Even if a new interest came to mind, I definitely WON'T be sharing it on here!!! I know, I know, I write about everything.... but in the case of relationships, I find that they work a lot better when the world isn't involved, so sorry you won't be seeing my relationship status change on Facebook (it doesn't show if you were wondering :P) Family, I do love. Music, I do love. Food, don't get me started. So that's it. FINI.

P.S: 2011 is lookin pretty optimistic & this year has been a MAJOR life lesson. Sometimes, the worst events in our lives are the best things to happen to us, because we become even more wise than what we were before.