Life

When faced with a difficult decision, how do you come to a consensus? How do we know its right? How do we know that our future dreams will lead us to a more happier prosperous life?? Well I don't, I'm just a dreamer. As do many girls, I practically laid down an outline of my life (yes ladies don't deny it, we've all done it). A lot of girls probably won't confess it, but I will.

By 21 I should have my BA in Journalism & minor in Political Science. Around that time I plan to work at a small news station, perhaps here in San Diego. Around 22 create a special documentary where I travel to the depths of the world from the African Sahara to the deep jungles of South America in search of some sort of truth, & wide open view of what our world hasn't experienced. Perhaps along my journey, meet the man of my life, who thirsts an objective view of the world, yet calls the city his home. By 23'ish' my crew & I finish this documentary, & unknowingly my boss at the news station watches this film, & think its brilliant for broadcasting it onto the news station "thinking it to be a fantastic human interest story for the viewers" then gets nominated for an News & Documentary Emmy (thank you, thank you lol) we win, yaaay! Offers begin to roll in, but the guy I'm with tells me "its not the money that should be your decision, but the network that suits you." I then decide to sign on with CNN, but not going solo, maybe co-anchor with the silver fox himself AC360 (as amazingly hot he is, I begin to fall in love with this certain guy I met on my travel) I'm 24, living in L.A. & the new face of CNN, which means also dealing with the insane paparazzi, which also means having a very secret life. It's been about two years into my relationship with this "guy" & asks me to move in with him... but before that I've found out that CNN wants me to relocate to NYC, I tell this guy I'd love to but my work will be in NYC, & your here in LA... I sadly move, knowing I finally have the life I want, a gorgeous penthouse suite in the Upper East Side, the perfect job, but an empty penthouse with no guy there.... until I arrive to my new place, & him standing in my empty penthouse with rose petals & candles laying on the floor & says will you marry me? Of course we get married in NYC, & we have our adorable kids, around 25-27..... Okay that was rather a more detailed version, but you get the idea, ha.

As much as I see myself having a happy marriage & kids, I'm still young, I have my dreams, my ambitions, my independence. It's just freaky how time flies, knowing it's so close.

Uber Smitten?

Doesn't matter who, but have you ever totally sidetracked by a certain one?
Perhaps you don't even know why? You feel like you would like them, but if you were too, it kinda would ruin your crush on that someone???

Well I'm no "love doctor" & I admit it, I probably have the least action in my love life I've ever had, but I'm content with who I am, but at this time in my life, I feel that I've dated, but I feel like I've been missing some piece of my "dating experience" & the right guy just doesn't seem to come along, but I'm not looking for any marriage proposals here so don't get the wrong idea, haha. Can many dates make a right one? Or do all the wrong dates we choose create a cycle?

Well I couldn't help myself, but to realize this certain "wrong person", (if you've been following up in my blogs, you'll get my drift) I've kinda still liked for about ohhh I would say maybe 7 months, which is insanely crazy! Have any of you ever liked someone for that long & been aware of it?? I didn't even notice how fast the time passed by. The thing is, IT can never happen, unless I want to speed up my 6 year plan by 1 year, which will not happen. Thing is, I see him often, randomly is to put it, & every time I have an awkward kind of moment. What can I do???? It's not like when I see him I can go jump into a bush & hide, cause that would be weird. I like to think odd moments like these have a sole teaching purpose, yet apparently this is a never ending lecture. Until I can find someone other than this person, I don't think it will go away.

A Visit From The Past- The Ex Factor

SO, these past couple of days, I've dealt with one thing most people try to avoid- the ex's. But you see, my "love life" isn't your typical love life, therefore I feel sorta allowed to revisit old flings. 

Question is, can we move on?

I think a lot of people ask themselves this, & it's a simple question. I've assumed I've moved on, but technically when you move on, don't NEWER love interests start to unveil? Where's mine? Sure there's prospects, the good looking men of our world, the crushes, the flings, the one date casual dating, but is that it? Do I really need to be in my mid-late 20s & fit into the cliche movie stereotype to find at least one person that will understand me?

Or maybe the universe knows much more than I do, & can tell people like me aren't stable to have an actual relationship, sad, yes... helpful idk...

The other day, I found myself listening to the songs of my life- Volume II- I then stumbled onto one of those EXBOY songs.

*exboy- where a songs been distinctly dedicated to a certain ONE

btw it was Melt With You- Modern English... & found myself stuffing myself with Bon Bons & laying in my bed (ok, the bon bons are a lie, that pictured moment always seems to happen in those sad romance films where they're either drunk off with wine, or pouring out tears, note i was just listening & thinking, haha) & this guy came up, & as more of the songs of my life that were shared with him came up, I began to miss what was there, or perhaps "it" never left.

Ironically the same song came up, as I was having sushi with an old friend, my other ex bf.

But for those who have dated, you understand. When the breakup happens, no matter who broke up with who, you wonder..... what would've happened if I stayed with that person? what if she/he never left?

I've asked myself that for that certain one, the break up was mutual, but if I was with him, would've it worked? or would've it been the biggest mistake of my life?

Would you move with the person you cared for, but didn't love just yet?

Life & the many changes

Hello, I'm Cathy one of Kristin's good friend. I will write about my "new" life here in Northridge..

So, for the past two months since I started college, my life has drastically changed in many ways. After living a few weeks in a new city(ahem..Northridge), I realized that this place and college is just not right for me. Reasons? The profs aren't good at teaching (even if they have a PH.D in english), limited resources, budget cuts, limited classes to choose from, students are not as friendly, too far away from home. I'm not complaining, its just the TRUTH. :] In two years, I will hope to transfer to CSU Long Beach, if not then..SFSU would be the second choice. I have also discover a new passion during my stay at Northridge, my current major is Graphic Design...but I will realize that is not what I am passionate about. I will be changing my major to Appareal Design & Merchandising in spring semester '11. I do not find graphic design intriguing anymore..but FASHION is my new obession..I'm always curious how people make clothes, handbags, hats, etc. If I have my own clothing line one day, that would be a dream come true!! :) check out my blog for the latest fashion designs! http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fitsmecathy09.wordpress.com%2F&h=41ede25495742b6109cd90bb64282829
I will be posting more fashion designs when I have time.

That's all for today!
xoxo Cathy :)

Something New

So I've decided to have guest bloggers on my site, but it will still be named as "itskristinlynn." I kind of wanted to extend out my blog a bit more (& it also has to do with the fact I don't really write as much, yes I know sad) Anyways all my readers out there, I just wanted to keep you informed :)

Lost in Translation

For the past oh months.... (I'm being very "light" on my timing) I've probably had the least amount of action in my love life, & for those who have followed along with a certain "man" I'm fearing my subconscious is still holding the torch.

Do I really need to get out of this city & find myself a single man or will this end very soon? I'm thinking I'm a bit lost in translation with myself.

How can something so wrong, feel so right?

Shifting Lanes

Listening to: Obstacle 1- Interpol

Okay, so I know plenty of you are "older" than me; this week embarks my nineteenth birthday yes yes, yet I'm beginning not to really embrace it as much as previous years, although I will celebrate my 21st to the fullest of course. Yesterday my Latin roots celebrated my uncle's & my birthday, though I secretly & intentionally made sure no one sang happy birthday (which failed), then I began to wonder am I really beginning to be a party pooper? Being my normal self, I began to deconstruct & analyze my behavior.

What is it with the age between 18-21, is it those dead years before you can actually start to legally drink among society, or is it the years where I will endlessly work on my academic career with paper after paper? Being that this is my last birthday in the teen years, I will be part of the 20s factor next year (& yes I know, some of you will turn 20 way before I do). As the days get closer to my birthday, I'm beginning to analyze my whole life, & in realization I see that 10 year reunion will be just in 9 years now & my goal to be a successful career woman at the age of 25 needs to happen in the next 6 years (or maybe even at 23-25).

In connection with my Anthropology class, are we truly slaves to our society? We have never ending work in hopes to become this "icon" or title in our society, whereas in small cultured groups live their life with the bare essentials. Has our society became so complex where we are fixated on making this thing called "money" rather than living our own life.

In the past couple of weeks I've felt that all I've been doing are things for myself benefit, & have somewhat disconnected with the world... yes I'm stuck in la la land...

I'll keep you posted when I come back

Time & Age

"We turn not older with years, but newer every day." -Emily Dickinson

With age, comes wisdom, most might say, yet we ache the feeling that each one of us "homo sapiens" is gradually getting older by the minute. I find myself to be a realist at times, yet I do find a sense of optimism frequently; it's the fact that we have such little time, & those who live as dreamers with enormous ambitions, tend to feel the time we have here in Earth is rather too short to live all of our dreams.

The Golden Era posed a picture perfect society, a happy home, with a wife, husband and kids, more like the "Leave it to Beaver" a 50s idealistic sitcom, where the mom was the household boss while the dad worked hard at his job to provide for his family. This "idealistic" world has surely faded, & in time both share equal power or switch roles. Much of this has to do with the growing empowerment in our society, & indefinitely I think our generation has the power to refine our country, our world.

Personally, on my note, I've sensed change, philosophically, mentally, and with change brings new friendships, and that certain "guy department." If time can really change us, why hasn't the world caught up on it? Does the majority of the population still lingering in the past, or has it really not gotten any wiser? We had the power to change and make history in our presidency, but now have we failed to agree with the change that should be taking place? Does that make us as the population as hypocrites? Or are we afraid of the change that is yet to come?

They said change was a good thing, but can it be accepted?

"IT"

Why in this time, this place

do we fail to understand our possibilities.

We linger around what we know is wrong

and avoid what we should be clinging onto.

Is it our adrenaline rushing through our veins

hoping, wishing, that what it is, is indeed right.

Or our rebel, that fights against all odds

that wants whatever it can grasp onto

like a leech, living off another.

I don't know what to do

the wind is blowing against me

swiftly taking away my energy

& I'm trying to hold on to

whatever I can, whatever I can preserve

of this long innocent perspective

in my own world of nonsense.

The clock is ticking

tick tock, tick tock

My palms begin to sweat

drip drop, drip drop

The vibrations of my heart

thump, thump

Is it too loud? Can you hear it?

In an instant glimpse, I see it...

should I stay, or should I go?

The brown paper bag

a symbol of recognition

to an untrained, endless thought

that lingers in the corners of my mind.

Then I find myself, standing, listening

to the mutters of life, hopes, & dreams.

Yet I don't understand why they are kept

in this bottled brain of this thing...

is it in that brown paper bag I suppose.

We converse, endless idea's, thoughts

but there will be nothing more.

IT, will merely be a footnote in the lines

of my composition, a character perhaps.

Simply thought of, yet not forgotten,

it was just that summer, once long ago.

*Fresssh- What to see, what to read

So, I've proclaimed myself to be a "writer" now I shall attempt to be a poet of some sort.

Wondered if I can rhyme, so I'll be testing out my poetic skills, lol. So here's just a list of what

may come... more like a rough sketch

The List

- poetry

- note hidden places that are AMAZING in the SD Downtown area

* i figured i spend most of my time there, & there's really good places

to eat/shop/cafes to hang at.... sooo im planning on noting good places i go to :)

- travel stuff

* in occurrence to my sanny fran deux trip in aug

- must do's/don'ts

- top 100 things/stuff/crap (day by day of course)

* this kinda grew out organically ;)

all of this... is the key motivation to blog more often.

I've sadly neglected this, SO I'm back!

It's Complicated

I fail to understand why do people fall for the wrong person.

Is it that feeling inside you that tells you "noooo you shouldn't like this person!!"

makes us even more attracted to that certain person.

I'm writing this post because I've had my absolute no no, yet it's somewhat of an infatuation our society seems to linger around.

Okay let me give you an example:

If you we're a Dawson's Creek fanatic, you surely will know this scenario... if not... it'll catch on

Joey & Professor Wilder (yes my story does involve a prof, but nothing in any form has happened, thank gosh)

Made the connection yet? If not, too bad, haha. (I'll put the pieces together since I'm nice)

Just last semester I had built somewhat of a crush on my prof, yes, I admit it. SO I'll use me as an example of where I'm headed towards.

Why do people tend to want older people (usually girls) & guys want younger chicks?

I've came to the conclusion that well girls tend to want older men because : a) most are much more responsible b) they have their act together c)tht whole theory tht girls develop faster than guys thing.....

Anyways I've found myself in that position & currently he is my ex-prof now... but I'm beginning to feel that the world is against me. I've ran into him at In-N-Out & all of a sudden he has just recently somewhat told me his life story, wow. Talk about student/prof violation, lol.

Sadly, I criticized his type of baggage material to carry "stuff" as he calls it, in(a brown paper bag... I basically called him a homeless man)

Anyways I'm going off topic...... why do we fall for the wrong people... is it something we must all face... does every college student fall into that same trap of trying to experience that cliche college experience with that one professor..... or is it possibly helping us to find our future mates?

Can really many "wrongs" make a right? Can that hopeless romantic really find their Juliet/Romeo? Or are we living in a society where careers are our mate??

Post #1

AAhh yes, the blogs are back! SO much has change with my life & things are only about to get more interesting. So enjoy!!

-Kristin Lynn

_______________________________________

Can We Still Be Friends?

(SO I would typically write this for those who just graduated hs, but I think this can apply to many people)

It's been a year since I've left this thing called "high school" & I've been facing reality- big world, crazy people & insane economy (& our gen is expected to fix it.) As insane as this world may tend to be, we seem to cling to our social world & hope day by day we never lose our inner circle.

We promise that we'll be "bff's forever" yet some tend to deteriorate life after high school.

Isn't that why we have that one saying, "Don't keep promises you can't keep."

I'm generally very optimistic, yet I'm a bit of a realist. You truly can't say you'll be "bff's forever" until you've truly been tested- think of it as a marriage, it takes effort; those who are true will stick around when you: are insanely crazy, idiotic or lets say vomiting in the public toilet (thank god that hasn't been me)

We change our inner circle like clothes, yet people fail to realize it. The people you thought in high school would never hang out with... you do... the people you talked behind their backs, all of a sudden is your new bff. We are shape shifters in some aspect; rather than socializing the most idiotic subjects you tend to crave more of an intelligent convo (hmm do I sense a bit of maturity!)

Last Spring semester I was somewhat enlightened by a college friend of mine.

"As we get older, we tend to surround ourselves with people who have the same ambitions, don't you think? And those who aren't part of that world either hide behind closed doors, or not part of our life."

I thought to myself, this is true & I began to analyze the people in my life... but of course we don't wish to lose our close friends.... it just happens... and when we do reencounter them, what do we talk about?

I've had my share of "tests" but I can honestly say, there's one bff that will always be around...

Cosmopolitan vs. Suburbia

Nooo I'm not talking types of drinks, rather a news brief I've written for my class. Enjoy!

Those who are suited to the cosmopolitan lifestyle are twice more likely to attain physical exercise than suburban residents, according to San Diego State University’s  study; published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine.

The survey consisted of 11,541 participants in 11 countries, including the United States, Brazil, Sweden, Lithuania and Japan. Statistically, 15-50 percent of city residents are receiving moderate to vigorous exercises five days a week, 30 minutes per day, because they have access to a public sidewalk, which becomes an important means of transportation, according the research.

SDSU professor and leading author Jim Sallis; notes that the study will provide evidence that more communities should promote sidewalks as an ideal form of everyday exercise, such as running, jogging or simply just walking the dog. 

“Even in this group of culturally diverse countries, this one factor held constant,” Sallis noted in the research by SDSU. “Designing neighborhoods to support physical activity for recreation and transportation purposes should be a public healthy priority around the world.”

Reality Check; Tweet away!

So, I'm back to college, not yet back to work (until Tuesday at least)
but yes, I've been aching about coming back:

1) I've been avoiding poly sci class because I'm afraid (or was now) of what my last test grade was.
2.) Hmm can I say no more sleep
3.) I can't think of one really, just that I'm purely lazy, & I totally needed a week off.

I must also admit, I haven't been up to date with the news, I even have a CNN app on my Blackberry & I've not used it in quite sometime. I think all reporters & news savvy people as myself need a break off from the news, I get tired, adding the fact there isn't much at all appealing to me right now; I think I'm in a news rut.

I am also currently at my second attempt with this upcoming popular site "Twitter" where you post basically everything you are doing. No offense to anyone, because I am guilty of posting some of the most random bulletins on our friend site Myspace, but I find peoples actions on their everyday life amusing.

tweetgirl09 is eating a breakfast sandwich from Starbucks with a grande caramel frap, yummy! 10 minutes ago.

or the philosophical tweeters...

mr. shakespeare jr. is speculating whether or not to sort his literature books by alphabetical order, or by genres. 7 minutes ago.

oh & I can't forget our older audience members...

Bertha just turned the corner 4 minutes ago.
Bertha is at home from work 3 minutes ago.
Bertha found the recipe to make chowder! 2 minutes ago.
Bertha just sneezed 1 minute ago.


haha, oh the older generation & the social network...
its like oberserving a little kid who is amused by how the sky is blue.


But of course, as I said, we've all been guilty.

Happy tweeting
:]

Celebrity Overload this past Tuesday!

Oh man! SO my friend Ashlee & I attended another live taping of Dancing with the Stars in LA, with two of our other friends, Jill & Lauren. I have to say out of all the tapings I've been too, this past one was the best, & here's why.

1) Amazing dance floor VIP seats(sat in the VIP area once already, but this was better)
2) Chatted with Cody from Disney
3) Chatted & hugged Mitchel Musso like 3 times & took a picture as well.
4) Hugged Johnny Knoxville
5) Chatted with Shawn Johnsons parents
6) Up close performance with the Ballas Hough Band
7) Photo opp with Mark & Derek after
8) Signed CD, & a crapload of other stuff ha

Oh man adding the fact right after we left the taping, it was starting to rain.

I think I'll post some pictures up as well.
:]

OH & I haven't even blogged about my experience with ELLEN DEGENGRES! Well to sum it up:

a) She said hi to all of us: Ashlee, Jillm Jeremiah & I
b) Wished Jeremiah a Happy Birthday
c) Danced with Ellen
d) Looked like a dancing retard on the Ellen show :]

Yes thank you weekend!

FINALLY! The weekend, well technically Thursday was my Friday so my Friday was my Saturday. ha anyways, I'm quite relieved from stress somewhat.

Although I still have two papers to write for my Poly Sci class & Humanities.

The humanities paper is supposed to be "fun" ha whatev.

I'm super excited for this month, guess why??

Return of Gossip Girl & The Hills, woo!

OMG that last moment in gossip girl where Dan kisses the teacher[whore! ha]

left me curious to the next episodes, of course the drama will keep pouring

in on the Hills star Lauren Conrad.

Exciting month!

:]

beats.

Okay, so I always try & find new artists I haven't heard.

Currently I'm hooked on this one artist- Lady Tigra.

If you like that electric slash beat stuff, then you'll totally love her.

It has the tune that sounds very cosmopolitan & urban.

Other artists I've been all over, if you've never heard their music

I totally recommend it!

3OH!3

MGMT

Against Me!

Links

Sons of People We Know

Vogue in the Movement

Lady Gaga [ who hasn't?! ]

Mae

Kings of Leon [ ROCKS! ]

Unfortunately I've heard from a friend of mine that the band

Lower Definition aka Lower D is no longer together; RIP LD<3

I LOVE music & I'm always open to hear new bands.

:]

BTW, I had a splendid day today<33

Events yet to Come

Okay so I don't know all of them at the top of my head, ha so I shall go to my trustee Blackberry for assistance.

MARCH

26// Ellen Show Deux

29// AP Tour: 3OH!3, FF5 & The Maine @ HOB

APRIL

6-10// Spring Break

May

21// End of Spring Semester !!

October

30??-??// Halloween in San Francisco !!

a spoonful of goodness during my rough time.

Ask every Filipino, what is Ube?

Of course most of all will know- if not I shall explain.

Straight forward its the Filipino version of the yam;

if you still don't get it shame on you, your too slow!

Just kidding, its basically a purple yam.

SO! Getting to my point, I have Ube ice cream in my freezer.

BTW did i mention it's a spoonful of goodness?? haha.

I seriously have an addiction to sweets, filipino sweets to be exact, & frosting.

But I think I finally know why I have this addiction:

1. It's pretty damn good.

2. My mother just moved to Texas, Wednesday 

[or was is Thurs?] morning to be exact.

She's been talking about it & I haven't really had a sense of emotion.

Just except for my brief tearing outburst Thursday morning; then I turned on Regis & Kelly, which by the way was co-hosted by Anderson cutie Cooper, haha, yes make fun.

He sparkled my sunshine day, until I had an orthodontist appointment just after & work, I mellowed out.

I felt numb, unknown. I've experienced so much pain in my life, some of you would be in shock if you all knew. You know how they say, once you're exposed the next time you'll be ready; something in that nature. Well I felt like I used up all my tear cards. Are you only allowed a certain amount of emotion per person? 

Today is a different day than last weeks; I dozed off to la la land, & thought I was "alright" but now as I look at it, I wasn't. 

I've avoid blogging, writing, running, & began to hibernate in my so called "cave room" ha. & yes I believe I'm still in that dark phase, but I'm in the process of getting myself some bright colored shirts. I'll keep you posted.